I’m not talking about somebody cute who shows up to fix it–whom we might also have dreams and expectations of–I’m talking about The Refrigerator.

There are a lot of people who open up the refrigerator, hoping and betting that food is going to show up on it’s own in there. This is a has-never-happened-and-99% chance-ain’t-never-going-to-happen situation.  I understand this phenomenon, because I have experienced it myself.  The lay it on the table truth is, if you want food in your fridge, you have to either get up close and personal with someone who is going to do it for you, or get yourself to the grocery store. If you’re new to the idea of refrigerator responsibility, go easy so you don’t give up. Buy a box of decent pasta (de cecco) and one of already washed baby spinach leaves. Try a whole new kind of hard cheese and buy yourself one from a Spanish goat or an Umbrian sheep. Find a favorite olive and a few leaves of (uncut) parsley. Peel a clove of garlic and shave a few slivers off of there like in that scene from the Godfather. (I use a half of one for one serving of pasta). Cook the pasta until al dente. Drain and reserve some of the cooking water. Drizzle a good olive oil into the bottom of the pan and very slowly cook the pasta slivers. At the first sign of golden, turn off the pan. Give it another good spill of olive oil (or butter if you don’t like your olive oil. Add the spinach–don’t turn the flame back on. (maybe 1 cup of leaves for 2 ounces of dry pasta). Add the pasta. Add a few tablespoons of the pasta’s cooking water, and then toss.
With your vegetable peeler, shower the pasta with plenty of the cheese. Throw in a few olives, toss again, and taste for freshly ground pepper and salt. That should take about 1 minute once the pasta is cooked. And you didn’t even really need the refrigerator.