Ice your joints and eat cold soup

I’m sick and tired of this heat. It’s making me irritable, I don’t want to get up, I want to do nothing, and it’s making me itch. I look like that lady they used to use as a model for the posters in high school to get you to stop smoking. She was hardly recognizable as a human. She was more of an elderly elephant’s armpit with no enthusiasm. The caption was “this could be you”! And it is. I’ve done it. I’ve achieved it, without even picking up a cigarette. I am the armpit.
Heat is just no good for you. Your only hope is to swim, ice your joints, or cold soup. It will take the edge off, and cool your jets. Gazpacho.
I haven’t made gazpacho since I was much groovier in the eighties. The beauty of it is, there is no cooking involved.
Find the newest and freshest red onion you can get your hands on, and chop it up super fine. Smash a garlic clove with olive oil in a mortar and pestle (or with your knife), and then add about a half a bunch of fresh cilantro. Don’t forget to wash and spin dry the cilantro, because it can be sandy.
Add some salt, and stir it all together in a big bowl, drizzling in a total of about three Tablespoons of your absolute best olive oil. Grind in some black pepper, and if you like it, a half teaspoon or even more of crushed coriander. Squeeze in a little lemon or lime juice. Use two 28 ounce cans of San Marzano tomatoes, and either smash them with your hands if they are whole, or use the crushed. If you have fresh tomatoes that are deep red and heavy with juice, use those. Peel the skins, or blanch them, and get the seeds out. Add a little minced jalapeno, for as much heat as you like. Adjust the salt and the lime juice, and add a little filtered water to thin it out a bit. Serve with tortillas that have been warmed over a flame, a dish of black olives, another dish of chic peas that have been tossed with olive oil, red vinegar and chive, some sliced hard boiled eggs, and a little dish of cubed cheddar cheese. A salad of slivered zucchini with olive oil, salt, and lemon with fried bread crumbs tossed in, is excellent with gazpacho.
Try it with Newman’s limeade or a Corona.

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