Jolted by the Jamie jitters

I would like to give you a clear picture of what happened last night when I went to a book signing for Jamie Oliver–in town to promote his new book, “Jamie at Home”. Before leaving I took a shower. I can never trust myself not to get overwhelmed with love and emotion and go in for a kiss on each cheek–you have to be ready. What I should have been doing was writing myself a short speech so that when I got up to the table with my book after standing in line for forty five minutes thinking about NOTHING, all I could say was “I’m Faye. F-A-Y-E.”
He looked at me and said, “Bless your heart.”
I turned around and walked away. Can you believe that? Me, a candidate for out philabustering the philabusterers on the Senate floor because of my talent to go on like a freight train on a track with no end–could think of nothing to say.
Bless my heart.
Anyways, he wrote “Faye, love Jamie, X” in the inside cover of the book, and that’s good enough for me.
I’m inspired to make beetroot and pear salad and roast great loins of beef with potatoes and make my own mayonnaise. I may even dig up the grass up back and start planting seeds unknown to feed my family. Now that would be a miracle.

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