When love is involved, love that has grown deep and wide in a minute or over a lifetime, even if it is not working, even if a newspaper arrives on the doorstep every morning saying “don’t do it anymore, walk away,turn the page, no more, no more, no more, don’t do it!”, there is always the hope that maybe, just maybe this time, everything will fall in place the way it should, the way an apple falls from a tree, because it must, the way we expect it to, the way we hunger for, long for, beg for. It is commendable to keep trying, and to keep trying, because miracles happen, and it is also commendable when the troops are low and freezing from lack of food and shelter, when your heart is broken and your mind is no longer your own, to give up the battle.
Someday I am going to be able to stop myself from trying to make Chocolate Nemesis, but not yet. I think it’s been eight years now. Not once has it turned out right. Not once. So why did I put on the menu for my class? I had to try again.