One of the reasons I don’t look in the mirror is because it’s always the same face, and I can tell you what, it doesn’t improve the more I look at it.
A chicken is different.
It is possible to feel exactly the same when I look at a chicken, but there’s help for a chicken.
Put the chicken on a plane (in your mind.)
France: Coq au vin, all bouquet garni, bacon and red wine–you could start with a dressed frisee salad w/ ever so slightly melted goat cheese from the Loire on top of slivers of crotons
Austria: Chicken and beer, which is great for using up that heavy stuff that is delicious, but hard to drink too much of. Really good with a side of slaw
Down South: soak it in buttermilk and onions, dip it in egg and flour and fry it up. Greens and cabbage sauteed with onion and a smoked turkey wing and a little mac and cheese on the side
Italy: flatten it out and roast it under a brick and serve with with potatoes, fried sage and garlic or sear it and stew it with tomatoes, olives and anchovies.
Mexico: Chicken and tortilla soup–who doesn’t like a zesty tomato-ey chicken broth w/gorgeous bits of chicken, cilantro leaf, potato, beans and cheese&tortillas and avocado on top?
India: Chicken curry–so good simmered in coconut milk w/fresh ginger, cardamom pods, a cinnamon stick, onion and chile and served with rice.
Or put a hat on and some white gloves and serve croquettes with buttery peas and leeks.
Or if you are feeling like the air is being sucked out of you and you need to sit down after reading all that, just turn the oven to 375 degrees, salt the chicken inside and out, give it a grind of pepper, and throw it in the oven with an onion. Pour a quarter cup of water over it two times while it’s cooking, and you’ll have something to make a sandwich with. While you wait for it to come out of the oven: you can watch how to make chicken and beer for a laugh.