Trader Joe’s Christmas List

For an elf about to have a party with no idea what to make and no props I say think holiday candy, chocolate, hors d’ouvres and alchohol. Get your skates on and point yourself to Trader Joe’s, or if you live in NYC, the 4,5 or 6 train to Union Square, walk East on 14th Street past Irving, and nearly to 3rd Avenue with at least a half an hour to spare, because there is a line in there and it’s long. As soon as you enter, immediately on the right, there are super cute Christmas trees, with or without lights for $10.00 or $16.00. Get the one with the lights to give you a little som, som. Moving on, check the clementines–beautiful in a bowl by themselves, they are only $3.49 and they are good. Grab a pack of dates rolled in coconut and topped with an almond for the poor people who don’t eat candy. Or if you have some true sugar shunners, grab a tiny basket, already wrapped of Emporer’s New Garlic or Italian chestnuts, (gift or roast either one). For the rest of ’em get Candy Cane Jo-Jo’s, oreo style cookies with real bits of candy cane in the cream, a box of peppermint bark, and some peppermint marshmallows, and enough with the mint, Belgian chocolate truffles, apricot popcorn clusters, caramel wafers, salted caramels, chocolate covered or naked, fair trade chocolate truffles or make your own dessert!!!! and buy some super thin Belgian chocolate cookie wafers, layer them with lightly whipped cream, and then shove some dark chocolate mint sticks in the top. (You could even soak some Omega-3 fortified dried cranberries with hot water, drain, let them sit in a little Gran Marnier, and toss those around the top as well for color and fortification.
For party favors, give out bags of trek mix, cashew macadamia delight or cranberry/nut mix, jars of honey with honey comb floating in the middle or tubs of “udderly smooth” hand cream.
Roll yourself down the Jar and Can aisle for olives, dolmas (grape leaves stuffed with herbed rice), marinated artichokes, roasted peppers and serve it all with a Feta or Ricotta Salata or a wedege of parmesan and bruschetta.

Go next door and get your wine.

That’s it. You’re done.

(I have two things to be aware of before you walk in: 1- Bruschetta is not red and served in a jar-it’s toasted bread.
2-Crushed garlic in a jar should be banned.)

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